DEL ENFRENTAMIENTO ENTRE CANTINFLAS Y EL PACHUCO SATANICO

Del enfrentamiento entre Cantinflas y el Pachuco Satánico
About the clash of Cantinflas and the Pachuco Satánico.

La siguiente es una narración ficticia basada en hechos reales. Ninguno de los personajes que aparecen en la narración cometió ningún delito, ninguno perteneció a ninguna secta o sociedad secreta, ninguno tuvo contacto con dioses o demonios de ningún tipo ni tampoco se vió envuelto en actividades sobrenaturales... Hasta donde se sabe.
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The following is a fictional story based on true facts.  None of the characters appearing in the story committed a crime, none of the characters in the story was in a sect or secret society, none had contact with gods or demons from any kind nor was involved in any supernatural activity... As far as anyone knows.

After the betrayal of the socialists they funded and empowered, The Council of Elders of Zion  - protectors of the children of Elohim - needed something to counter Stalin and his damned KGB. The "International"- Organization to promote Lenin's ideas of communist utopia- took hold in most civilized countries and drowned Mexico's cultural scene which shared the revolutionary calling... At least in theory.

Fearing that Mexico would pass from theory to action and rally with the Soviets, The Council decided that the cultural influence from the reds/whites/soviets had to be countered and in 1938 they sent  Jaques Gelman -one of their agents- to look for someone to replicate in Mexico what they had managed to accomplish with Chaplin and his United Artists in the United States.

As soon as he arrived Gelman came upon the scene of the so called "intellectuals", a putrid concoction distilled from Mexican muralists and writers, their patrons, their friends, their lovers, their allies and their whores (socialists, surrealists, anarchists, transvestites or whichever other persuasion available), however, he kept his distance to avoid getting tangled on their particular intrigues and thus avoid the risk of being discovered by soviet goons that used to frequent the mix.

In his reports to the Council, Gelman deemed impossible to establish a foreigner as a popular figure in a tradicional culture that, on one hand, revered all things foreign, but on the other,  was always suspicious of all things foreign as the result of the insertion of a colonial rape in the collective mind.  For the Mexican people, the rich (a.k.a. "catrin"), the powerful and the foreigners, were characters unworthy of any kind of trust, hence, the poor saps depicted in the Movies - and he did mean "poor"-were glorified in contrast to the rich characters that would always end up in tragedy.  Apparently the people ("Mexican" people) had exactly the martyr's calling that was required by feudal lords and seem to be perpetrated in each catholic baptism even as a bold new world defined by new magics was being thrust upon them at the price of lives, haciendas and little more.  Gelman decided that to accomplish his mission he would have to go to the lowest levels of society - to the "poor"-  to find someone that could effectively counter the cosmopolitan intellectual aristocracy that was already in the hands of Stalin by means of Siqueiros and his hosts.

At the beginning of 1939, touring through the tents that worked as popular theaters of the City, Gelman was contacted by a certain Stanislav Shilinsky, a Lithuanian fugitive of the Russian Revolution who had joined forces with a Mexican comedian called Mario Moreno Reyes to enter the Film industry with the help of a Arab immigrant  that went by the name of Reachi Fayad.

  

Shilinsky showed Gelman everything he needed to conclude that Moreno would be the "Mexican Chaplin" that could provide the Council with the influence they craved not only in  Mexican society, but in the rest of Latin America; however, he also was very candid about a problem that made it impossible for the Mexican to receive any of Elohim's graces.  Moreno was already claimed by the ancient gods hidden in the depths beneath Mexico City.

Xolotl and his family, gods that were forced to nest like worms in the corpse of the lake where ancient Tenochtitlan was build, under a shroud of concrete that provided more and more city with the years.

Moreno was born with three particular birthmarks aligned in the shape of an hypothetical triangle, one of the many marks used by Tezcatlipoca, the Lord of the smoking mirror, master of deceit, acting, drunkenness and contradiction; known in Europe as Bacchus "the horned god" and simply as "the enemy" in other parts of the world.

By some kind of planetary alignment, numerology or one of those reasons that elude human understanding, the comedian with a face that caused smiles on sight was destined to live as a slave to a mark from the lords of an agonizing Pantheon, and he knew it pretty well... His first feature film, "Head or tails" somehow evidenced his knowledge of the situation.

Moreno had fought against the terrible truth of his fate by trying hundreds of crafts. Anything that could show that his was not a fate determined by three literally "damned" marks that caused all kinds of terrors to his very catholic and very controlling family  (who went as far as to pull him out of the army when the war against the Catholic church erupted).  His way to the limelights would be set only after he met Shilinsky and the Ivanova sisters, a pair of variety dancers in Tacuba that Shilinsky had met from the old country.

Shilinsky required help for his Mexican friend, he said he knew that the Council of Elders of Zion would have the means to save Moreno from "the enemy" and that there was nothing he wanted more.  Gelman never knew if Shilinksy told the truth or just wanted to be in good terms with the Council, but that didn't really mattered.  Gelman knew that Moreno would be accepted by the Mexican people as Chaplin had been accepted by the American people... But "the enemy" business... That was going to be a problem.

The night of August the 30th, 1940, weeks after the unveiling of what was to be considered Mario Moreno’s “best feature”, Gelman heard that the Aleph stolen by Trotsky was definitively lost for his cause, so, despite all common sense reservations, he decided to try a negotiation that not even the best agents of the Council would ever have dreamed.  
Making some inquiries with Shilinsky, he and the Lithuanian went to an ancient abandoned forge in Tacuba, they went looking for the most dangerous merchant of this or any other world.

Tacuba, known as Tlacopa in the earliest days, was a gift from Cortés (the conqueror) to one of the daughters of Moctezuma II (the conquered) so there could be peace with the hostiles that still lurked in the shadows.  According to the chronicles, the Lady of Tlacopa converted to christianity and even helped to hunt down heathens and heretics, but in truth, she kept his territory as a stronghold for the Old Gods for many generations to come.

A legend from the XVI century said that there was a forge in Tacuba and in that forge there was a man capable of dealing with the Lord of lies.  It was said that the man was killed but the forge remained there up until the 50’ies.

Behind a great wooden door that had the width of a hand, as many before them, Shilinsky and Gelman arrived at the abandoned forge; a cold thing that emanated darkness and fear,  cold eternities recalling times in a kingdom with other banners for entities insinuated when one can choose to wake or keep on dreaming.

Gelman spoke Russian, German, French and some English, but in 1940 his Spanish left a lot to be desired and thus, the presence of Shilinsky… As if  “the enemy” were to be concerned with subtleties of language.

They began by calling him as you would normally call a ghost or a spirit, by speaking about things that are left behind, things to be missed; trying to make him feel that his loss was also theirs. Lost paradises and things that children abandon to become adults… But the enemy required something more and they finally spoke to him by spilling blood.  After all, blood is received as water for the thirsty on the other side… A flash of light in eternal darkness and the fear of a forge eternally cold as the heart of an abandoned god...

A few blocks from the ancient forge they had taken a boy, one of the hundred orphans of the city that roamed the night and never doubted to follow anyone with a few pesos. While Shilinksy kept him silent with a hand and restrained him with the other, Gelman sliced him in half with a machete.  Each drop of blood sparkling in the eyes of “the enemy”, calling him, reminding him of times when those same sparkles were his to live in instead of the foul waters beneath the town.

With blood painting their hats, disgusted with themselves and wishing to be anyone but them, Shilinsky and Gelman saw the forge light itself. An empty hart kneeled within a metallic fence, praying to a chimney that reigned supreme.  A flame the size of a man illuminated the place and produced a decayed form with undefinable features and wore a suit that mocked theirs.  The suit of the hellish figure had huge shoulder-pads that seemed to make its width to double.  He had pants that gradually closed like an angle, as if all his owner had the intention of being a triangle protruding from his collarbone… Maybe the same triangle suggested by the mark in Moreno’s body. An enormous hat with a feather on the prowl and saying “What’s up ese?”.

A clock chain low at the knee and a ruthless cool despite the fire with a “Quiubo mister?”

Shilinsky became unnecessary because the creature spoke every language if it was a matter of negotiation and negotiation was Gelman’s language on his genes decree.

After a few minutes, they reached an agreement.  The Council of Elders, represented by Gelman, would assume Moreno’s debt in exchange for the comedian’s bloodline. The little bastards were not to be from the chosen people, so what do they care? Gelman and Shilinsky had to eat the remains of the sacrificed boy to close the deal just because “the enemy” thought it amusing… They would still had to get the acceptance from Moreno for the pact to be in effect. 

The night of September 11, Shilinsky, who by then had become Mario Moreno’s brother in law, produced a bottle of Tequila at the premiere of “Ahí está el detalle” -Moreno's latest film-  and offered his “compadre” a toast for this everlasting success.

Tequila was an almost obscene drink for such an elegant occasion as at the etiquette of the time considered it poison for lower class rats, but as they were “lower class rats” themselves, they sneaked to an empty office within the premises and had their toast.

After they drank, one asked if the other would be willing to do everything for the movie to succeed, and the other said “yes”.

An abandoned forge burned for an instant in Tlacopa and, of course, the movie was a tremendous success.

Years later, Mario Moreno Reyes became a world known figure with his character, “Cantinflas”.  He assumed the leadership of the Actors Guild going against the establishment and the wishes of the man that owned the unions, Fidel Velazquez.

His influence became so grand, that in 1947 he helped a certain Jacobo Zabludosvky, ardent follower of the Council of Elders of Zion, get to the position  of head of Information services in the XEW, the most important media network in Mexico up until the year 2000.

Up until now  it is not known what had to be made (if anything) to keep the deal that Gelman made on behalf of the Council of Elders of Zion, but Elhoim's influence in Mexico became almost as strong  as it was in the United States… While the ancient gods beneath the city still make their plans.